Buddha Did It

Poor Noah. He’s at the age when kids don’t just start wanting to tattle on their siblings. They need to tattle on their siblings. They need to shift the blame. They need to change the focus when mom or dad are getting frustrated over something that they have done.

But Noah is an only child. That means he’s got nobody to blame things on and nobody to throw under the bus when he doesn’t want to take the heat for something naughty he’s done.

Enter Buddha.

Our three-year-old lazy tank of a dog who doesn’t do a whole lot besides lay around all day or blow snot in your face when you’re trying to enjoy your latest show.

As if instinct has kicked in full force, Noah has started tattling on Buddha. He’s started blaming Buddha for the naughty things he’s done.

Yesterday I walked into the kitchen and noticed that “somebody” had drawn all over the new kitchen chair with a dry-erase marker. “Noah, how come you drew on this chair?” I asked him.

“It wasn’t me Dad, it was Buddha.”

Not laughing proved much more difficult than it should have. “Buddha did it? He drew this pretty picture?”


“What’s it a picture of?”

“This is a dinosaur eating a robot, and right here is where the fire shoots out,” he said proud of the picture that “Buddha drew.”

I asked him if he really thought Buddha could draw a picture that good being that he was a big old fat dog who, like I said, didn’t do much but lay around all day. Noah assured me it was Buddha.

It’s hard to be mad when he blames Buddha. It’s so ridiculously hilarious. I love the brains of four-year olds. Noah has every reason to believe that I’ll believe his fib. After all, it makes sense to him.

At some point, I suppose it’s okay to let him get away with smaller things here and there. After all, parents of multiple children often have no way to determine who is actually telling the truth. Every once in a while the culprit is bound to get himself off the hook. Why shouldn’t Noah have that right like any other kid?

Poor Buddha. He’s done a lot of naughty things and doesn’t even know it.

Dan Pearce, Single Dad Laughing

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